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SIZZLETOWN  Episode Guide                             

Ep 1: What’s It Gonna Be? 13/4/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Only three SFX/Why a podcast?

CALLER: Conrad – ‘Previously on The Mentalist’.

BREAK: Daryl Somers Show (Ugly Dave)/Straw Thief.

MESSAGE: Trevor Devon at Kryal Castle FM.

BREAK: McKinnon gig/Stacks of Slacks/Cod, Sole & Shrimp.

CALLER: Dion – iTunes card scam.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Deadly Kerfuffle - Book of the Week in Devonport.

INT: William Friedkin – French Connection chase.

THEME: Original.

Ep 2: Bathmat Warehouse 25/4/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Limited SFX again/Podworx tour.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Bathmat Warehouse.

BREAK: Daryl Somers Show (sketch death)/Mr Football - Lou Richards.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut Comedy Festival.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Get Yer Dag On!/Cat calls in/Dual camera insertions.

INT: Peter Meager – Australian Review of Tweets.

THEME: Original.

Ep 3: Previously on Harrow 9/5/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Still only three SFX/Up to the roof (Magnificent Men).

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Pub Classic/Harrow/80s music.

BREAK: Previously on Harrow.

MESSAGE: Bane calls from Screen Australia.

BREAK: Nicolas Cage retirement/Cat calls again.

CALLER: Dion – Wild Bean Café/Court cases.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Childproof - Podcast Awards – Sturgo/Scarface story.

INT: Jason Statham – ‘Man and knife’.

THEME: Original.


Ep 4: Funnels 22/5/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Broadcasting from car – cop moves us on.

CALLER: Conrad – ‘Here come The Avengers’/Other podcasts.

BREAK: Cat calls/Dial-up cicadas/’Arble Darble’.

CALLER: Bryan Lyons calls from Werribee Treatment Plant.

BREAK: Matt’s beeping skills.


CALLER: Driveway Guy – rams our car with his.

BREAK: On the Buses (camera scam)

CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Spambot business opportunity.

BREAK: What’s happening with The Doctor Blake Mysteries?

INT: Blakey – ‘The Inspector Blake Mysteries’.

THEME: Original.


Ep 5: Possum Bother 6/6/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO:  Possums in the roof/NZ possums policy.

CALLER: Rod Sardonicus – Boat People/Homosexual marriage.

BREAK: Hot Desking correction/Migrate those podcasts.

CALLER: Dion – Metal detector/Second internet.

BREAK: Pacific Banana re-release.

CALLER: The Hater – Show is terrible/Flu shot.

BREAK: Cat Translator request.


CALLER: Dave Clacton – Barry Dickbag’s Metalfest.

BREAK: Possum Botherers release panther into ceiling.

INT: Desmond Bowie – David Bowie’s little brother.

THEME: Epic.

Ep 6: This is Ashburton 20/6/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Podworx tour – do you have a dolphin in there?

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Tantric sex/$5 shop/Graffiti/This is Ashburton.

BREAK: Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance telemovie.

CALLER: Shane Couch – My computer is watching me.

BREAK: Matt’s dolphin.


CALLER: Brendan Fancy – Angry about Fancy Feast jokes.

BREAK: Cat Translator update.

INT: HAL 9000 – Tries to shut down podcast.

THEME: Original.

Ep 7: Nanobots! 4/7/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: No time for an intro.

CALLER: Dion – Kiss of Life/Spoiler Blackmail/Nuber.

BREAK: Comedy FX/Dolphin breaks the Cat Translator.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Nanobots/Love Island.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Confessions of the Idiots.

CALLER: Server Guy – Other podcasts/Bill not paid.

BREAK: Downgraded to mono.

INT: William Friedkin – French Connection casting.

THEME: Original.

Ep 8: The Pikelet Man 18/7/18


PROLOGUE: Toilet humour warning.


INTRO: Tap-dancing postman.

CALLER: The Hater – Show still terrible/License photo.

BREAK: Daryl Somers Show (bad transitions).

CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘Political Correctness Can Get Fucked’ festival.

BREAK: Cat Translator finally works.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Birds are stupid.

CROSS-PROMOTION: The Ash Williams Show.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Battery World/Poojogger.

SONG: ‘Mr Poo Guy’.



Ep 9: Waiting for Carbo 1/8/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Matt on Page 3/Volcanos.

CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Alan Jones silencedAfrican gangs.

BREAK: Why no sponsor?/Tony’s Logies gig - ‘Pingers’ controversy.

CALLER: Dion – Meeting Carbo.

BREAK: At the door: Colin Holcroft with petition/Dolphin in Matt’s van.

INT: Jack Nicholson – On working with Roger Corman.

THEME: Original.

Ep 10: A Lowering Cloud Over the Stalls 15/8/18


THEME: Original. (with party noise)

INTRO: Songs that feature a bed of partygoers (includes song).

CALLER: Conrad – Becoming an actor a la Marlon Brando.

BREAK: More Logies talk/Daryl Somers Show (dog with cancer).

CALLER: Shane Table – Opting out of My Health Record.

BREAK: Cops from Dolphin Squad York & Sargent looking for Matt.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Garbage truck and bin are colluding.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Grant Crapp/Why no sport?

INT: Les Cleary – Top snooker commentator.

THEME: Original.

Ep 11: Crapp’s Last Tape 29/8/18


PROLOGUE: Podworx manager demands language warning.

THEME: Vibes.

INTRO: Matt sending e-mails and emptying trash.

CALLER: Lorna Palethorpe – Plastic shopping bags.

BREAK: Late Night Dedication – Not All Men…don’t like Nashville.

CALLER: Dion – Domino’s and Bunnings scams.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Santo, Sam & Ed – Sam and Tony’s comedy husbands.

CALLERS: Phillip at Bank/Lloyd Muffler/Ian Teale (all wanting feedback)

BREAK: Feedback!/Dial 9 to hang up/Dicklord/Matt Scarface theme.

INT: Peter Meager – Nine Books/Writers festivals.

THEME: Vibes.

Ep 12: Sketch Happens 12/9/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Endless Perfect Match theme.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – No Sky News in railway stations/Snakadaktal.

BREAK: Perfect Match theme still going/Shows with word ‘skit’ in title.

CALLER: The Hater – Expired referral at podiatrist/chiropodist.

BREAK: Deano thank you – Matt’s FX barrage/Matt solo - On the Buses.

CALLER: Theo – Can’t think of a topic/Colours.

CROSS-PROMOTION: BLB (Blakey’s ‘Summer of 69’)/Perfect Match end.

INT: Simon Haight – ‘It should have been Tony Abbott’.

THEME: Original.

Ep 13: Nightbird 26/9/18


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Tony tries to bribe construction workers to be quiet.

CALLER: Dion – Nut Butter case back on/Incident at Maccas drive-thru.

BREAK: Tony in ‘Peter Harvey’ Google search/Matt iRock lookalike.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Big Men’s Paradise/Au pair invasion.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Tony’s Sons and Daughters Twitter gallery.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – If ‘man’ won’t bring him food, will catch ‘nightbird’.

CALLER: Dion (pt 2) - Lawyer arrested/Needs Tony for character reference.

INT: David Lynch – Will do TV commercial for us/Floats away.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: ‘It’s the end bit’ song.

Ep 14: Tongs for the Squeamish 10/10/18


PROLOGUE: ABCfm – Cold Hard Cash!

THEME: Orchestral.

INTRO: It’s our ‘Classy’ episode – what other shows did for Ep 14.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Kids obsessed with screens/Mission: Impossible.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Damian Cowell’s Disco Machine.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Feminist comedy at The Busted Nut.

BREAK: Tony does a dolphin deal for Matt with explosive results.

INT: Jason Statham – ‘The Gig’/ Shakespeare and self-deprecation.

THEME: Orchestral.

Ep 15: Inappropriate Developments 24/10/18


PROLOGUE: Language and jazz warning.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Tony and Matt welcome our new Spotify listeners

CALLER: Irving Sempleton – Manager of Spotify.

BREAK: Movie Title Line: The Big Country.

CALLER: Theo – Still can’t think of a topic.

BREAK: Bees hate jazz.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Barry Football.

MESSAGE: Barry Football – sexting scandal.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Having birds arrested/Patch of sun.

BREAK: Turning down game show to keep doing Sizzletown.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Powerball win.

CALLER: Dion’s Lawyer – Dion facing Nut Butter-related charges.

BREAK: Tony’s question about the Teacher’s Pet podcast

INT: Guthrie Runter – Property developers /Blowjobs.

THEME: Original.

Ep 16: Nut Butter Express 7/11/18


PROLOGUE: Dolphin traders hospital room.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: No time for an intro.

CALLER: Conrad – The next R. Lee Ermey/Oil rig/Mayoral robes.

BREAK: Matt back from Fiji/Joy Division Sussan jingle.

CALLER: Dion – Home with ‘ankle bracelet’/Buying Blind.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Mad as Hell – ‘Tony Martin’ on Newstopia.

CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Further Spambot opportunities.

BREAK: Shootout in the control room.

INT: William Friedkin – William Peter Blatty’s terrible script.

THEME: Original.

Ep 17: Dub Version 21/11/18


PROLOGUE: Podworx manager post-‘bloodbath’/Theme is ‘scratched’.


INTRO: Stuck in dub/Repeated sound effect.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Reverse racism/It’s OK to be white/Radiohead.

BREAK: Cooking show promo/RIP John D. Lamond.

CALLER: Shane Curtains – Dick pic database.

CROSS-PROMOTION: ‘Making Muffins’ by Oliver Clark.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Eating chips from a bag on the freeway.

BREAK: Sizzletown T-shirts now available.

CALLER: Warren Staples – Drops dolphin from helicopter.

BREAK: Podworx manager (Heathcote Shiraz) can’t see dolphin.

INT: David Smallwood – From Diversity Council. Show is ‘problematic’.


EPILOGUE: ‘No secret ending’ song.

Ep 18: Hey Matty! 5/12/18


THEME: Epic (with ‘decrepit conductor’ intro.)

INTRO: Three sounds including Inception ‘Bwaaa’

CALLER: The Hater – Loyalty card.

BREAK: Noisy movie trailers.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Christmas shows at The Busted Nut.

BREAK: Matt’s noisy Sizzletown 2019 trailer/T-shirts still available.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Temporary bird/Dog on string.

BREAK: No cross-promotion – bees invade Matt’s control room.

CALLER: Dion – Has been paid a fortune for his ‘Nuber’ idea.

SONG: ‘Hey Matty!’

THEME: Epic.

EPILOGUE: Tony encounters Pete Smith outside Podworx.


Ep 19: Bento Box 7/2/19


SPONSOR: Heathcote cancels eviction due to Allegiance Wines.

SKETCH: Teacher’s Pet-style investigation into Matt’s ‘activities’.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: ‘Hey Nineteen’ – Matt has nineteen sound effects.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Granddaughter is ‘undecided in gender dept’.

BREAK: Sinatra coincidences/Tony Martin insult on The Deuce.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube incursions/Raised media profile.

SPONSOR: ‘Severed Arms’ cab sav/Roland Mulberry too loud next door.

CALLER: Rodney Pyles – Brexit.

BREAK: Tony accused of anti-NZ racism back in ‘Tim & Phul’ days.

CALLER: Dion – Has a butler/Neil Diamond ‘What’s It Gonna Be?’

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Matt’s leftover SFX.

Ep 20: The Podcast That Goes Wrong 21/2/19


SPONSOR: Read is accompanied by inappropriate typing.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Tony’s neighbours’ drunken singing/Jazz restores late night vibe.

CALLER: Shane Door – Leap year conspiracy/TV sending messages.

BREAK: Byron Bay ‘dick sculpture’.

CALLER: Conrad – Did the Bird Box Challenge.

SPONSOR: ‘Severed Arms’ cab sav/‘Bionic’ FX to silence Roland Mulberry.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Good One Insurance/Toilet iPad.

BREAK: Mariah’s World line/Tony’s first joke.

INT: Peter Meager – Programming MTC/Plays that ’go wrong’.

THEME: Original.


Ep 21: A Legal Mix of Menthol and Sugar 7/3/19


SPONSOR: Tony does read from car while running late for show.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Matt starts show. This Is Us music keeps kicking in.

CALLER: Dion – Still under house arrest/Global warming.

BREAK: Tony watched Queen of Outer Space.

CALLER: The Hater – Berates us for returning/Brian on Escape to the Country.

SPONSOR: Allegiance are award-winners.

MESSAGE: Barry Football – ‘A legal mix of menthol and sugar’.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Cleanfluencers/Mental Hygienist.

BREAK: Roland Mulberry is a ghost!

INT: Willem Dafoe – His many movie deaths.

THEME: Original.


Ep 22: Clacton’s Folly 21/3/19


SPONSOR: Tony placates Tim from Allegiance while cooking stir-fry.

PROLOGUE: ‘Previously on Sizzletown’

THEME: Epic.

INTRO: Heatcote interrupts/Tony and Matt’s audible thoughts.

CALLER: Creyton – Doesn’t want exit row responsibilities.

BREAK: ‘Mopping Up’/Living with a book editor.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Threatens to call RSPCA/Avoiding paparazzi.

SPONSOR: Channel Ten ‘cupboard’ clip/Where’s Dave Clacton?

CALLER: Dave Clacton - Severed Arms wine/Busted Nut 2019.

BREAK: How young people see Rolf Harris.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Windscreen World/Paul Bongiorno statue.

BREAK: Strange Roland Mulberry-Pete Smith connection.

INT: Tum – Discusses Tum & Phul break-up.

THEME: Epic.

Ep 23: Crisps 4/4/19


PROLOGUE: Warning about almost everything in show.

SPONSOR: Matt adds morse code to Tony’s read ‘for sailors’.

THEME: Original.

CALLER: Norrie Rolle – Doesn’t know who he’s called.

INTRO: Matt looking suave with ‘El Bimbo’ theme music.

CALLER: Irving Sempleton – Used to run Snapchat and NASA.

BREAK: Why the Martin/Molloy albums can’t be re-released.

CALLER: Dion – Apartment-selling plan/Hinder-Tinder.

SPONSOR: More on M/M albums/Sound effect for each wine.

CALLER: Dick Roundabout – Roundabout Finances/Keeps saying ‘crisps’.

BREAK: Denton mistaken for Tony/Shooting at Mulberry’s former home.

INT: Simon Haight – Pell innocent/Eating Tony Abbott’s onion.

THEME: Original.

Ep 24: Local Galoots 18/4/19


SPONSOR: Tony is continually prompted by Matt.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Tony starts endless Berocca.

CALLER: The Hater – Brian wants his Private Practice DVDs back.

BREAK: Cops York & Sargent return due to shooting in last episode.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Gangs of blackface entertainers/Weezer.

SPONSOR: More medals for Severed Arms cab sav.

MESSAGE: Barry Football – ‘A widely circulated video of my penis.’

BREAK: ‘Rock! and Sport!’ promo.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube feud continues/Baffled by ‘Reverse Me’.

CROSS-PROMOTION: Glennridge Secondary College - triggers a single bee.

SKETCH: TAB robbers on Escape from the City.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Endless Berocca continues.


Ep 25: St. Bogan 2/5/19


SPONSOR: Berocca still going/Read accompanied by shark warning.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Another Podworx tour/Heathcote has spotted cops watching studio.

CALLER: Dion – Psychic Hotline/Gone ‘fully crypto’/Magnetic slurpee.

BREAK: On the Buses – studio audience very quiet.

CALLER: Rodney Pyles – Tries to explain On the Buses.

SPONSOR: Allegiance Kindred has dolphin label?/New T-shirts .

BREAK: Heathcote delivers exploding videotape. Matt saves the day.

INT: Chef Marius – Bad behaviour of patrons at his restaurant.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: ‘That’s It’ song.

Ep 26: Ghostfist 16/5/19


SPONSOR: Tony performs skateboard tricks during read.

THEME: Vibes.

INTRO: No time for an intro – straight to callers.

CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Long story about African gangs.

CALLER: Ian Teale – Saw Tony having key cut.

CALLER: Outraged Man – Women won’t allow themselves to be miniaturised.

BREAK: Australian Podcast Award nominations.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – New shows at Busted Nut/Tax Department thwarted.

SPONSOR: Allegiance range/Tony confronts Roland Mulberry’s ghost.

BREAK: Heathcote describes Roland’s death/’Dumb birds’ on The Heights.

INT: William Friedkin – Mercedes McCambridge in The Exorcist.

THEME: Vibes.

EPILOGUE: Ian Teale visits the keycutter.

Ep 27: Inadequate Sentencing 30/5/19


SPONSOR: Newsreel-style vox-pop.

THEME: Original (with 30’s dance band intro and amendments)

INTRO: 2019 Podcast Awards/Comedy stings.

CALLER: Dick Roundabout – new office is on a roundabout.

BREAK: Burstyn/Bursteen story.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Pet Sematary cat.

SPONSOR: Another medal for the Severed/Tony calls an evasive Pete Smith.

CALLER: Stapleton – ‘I hope you rot in jail’.

BREAK: Listener Questions, inc Berocca still going; noisy Statham trailer.

CALLER: Conrad – Clactogram/Tries to describe MAFS.

BREAK: Show has run over. Only time for a quick song…

SONG: ‘Lou Reed’s Sizzletown’.

THEME: Original.

Ep 28: Golden Wonder  13/6/19


SPONSOR: Read accompanied by pissweak fireworks show.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Show explained in song (with Matt on recorders).

CALLER: Norrie Rolle – Still doesn’t know who he’s called.

CALLER: Dion – Road trip with Higgins to every Wild Bean Café.

BREAK: Walking project/Warwick Capper ‘Braindead Prisoner’.

CALLER: The Hater – Post-awards spray/Booking pub for trivia night.

SPONSOR: Half of Severed Arms sold/Mulberry-related lift incident.

BREAK: Matt holds fort/Heathcote arrives post-explosion.

CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Spambot strikes again.

SKETCH: Pauline Hanson ‘cut and spliced so many times.’

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Two weeks later: sprinklers still on in Heathcote’s office.

Ep 29: Gender Fluid 27/6/19


SPONSOR: Read in forest interrupted by logging and fire-ants

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Back at Matt’s – possums and cattle in the roof.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Compulsory sex-changes/Whiteboard Wonderland.

BREAK: Andre Rieu in waiting room/Opera singers singing non-opera songs.

CALLER: Shane Magazines – Catfished by James Charles/Moon footage faked.

SPONSOR: Kindred label has whales/Whale song – ‘Whole Lotta Love’.

BREAK: Tony seeks advice on Pete Smith affair from Jordan Peterson.

CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Has written new ending for Game of Thrones.

INT: Simon Haight – ‘ScoMo’/Serenades Tony Abbott with ’Fever’.

THEME: Original

Ep 30: Gravy Loaded 11/7/19


SPONSOR: Tony attempts to do read on flying fox.

THEME: Epic.

INTRO: Sneaking into building to Tchaikovsky/Heathcote has CCTV footage.

CALLER: Ray – Boiled egg prank backfired.

BREAK: Girlfriend’s mum keeps e-mailing Bill Shorten’s office.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘Racial Slur Month’ at The Busted Nut.

SPONSOR: ‘Mixed twelve wines’ in SFX.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube a ‘buckethead’/Internet cats.

CALLER: Dion – Trying to evade cops in Wodonga Macca’s drive-thru.

THEME: Epic.


Ep 31: Slightly Different 25/7/19


SPONSOR: Matt (on holiday) has left SFX to accompany the read.

THEME: Original

INTRO: Matt now working on Kennedy Molloy.

CALLER: Conrad – Won a draft excluder at the pub quiz night.

BREAK: Joy Division David Jones jingle.

CALLER: Neil – Found ‘House of Bulger’ DVD at post office.

SPONSOR: New wine ‘The Vortex’.

CALLER: The Hater – Bags Tony on Logies/Apple Genius Bar.

BREAK: Logies titbit/Heathcote has the lift explosion footage.

INT: Bryan Lyons – The latest from Werribee Treatment Plant.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Lift bomber revealed!

Ep 32: A Bigger Gulp 8/8/19


SPONSOR: Conrad does the read.

THEME: Original

INTRO: Tony addresses the Ash Williams lift bomb accusation.

CALLER: Dion – Wollongong/Judgement Night/Wild Bean notes.

BREAK: Ash’s message appears to confirm his innocence.

CALLER: Gary Gulp – ‘Libtards’/Big Gulps now bigger.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Medical marijuana/More African gangs/Pulp.

SPONSOR: A fourth medal for the Severed/Tony falls into The Vortex.

CALLER: Norrie Rolle – The usual confusion.

BREAK: Berocca still not dissolved

INT: Peter Meager – Back in publishing at Pink Ink.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Tony finds a hole in Ash’s story.

Ep 33: Danglemouse 22/8/19


SPONSOR: Heathcote throws knives at Tony as he does the read.

THEME: Orchestral.

INTRO: Overworked Matt not getting enough sleep.

CALLER: Conrad – Getting recognised after his Ep 32 voice-over.

BREAK: ‘New features’ – Tony recalls The Spoonman’s ‘hypotheticals’.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Doing his own ‘Rocketman’-style movie.

SPONSOR: Severed Arms has won a fifth gold medal!

BREAK: Cops York & Sargent report disappearance of Ash Williams.

CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Shipping baby formula to China.

BREAK: Broadway musicals referencing historic figures in song.

INT: William Friedkin – Firing guns on the set of The Exorcist.

THEME: Orchestral.

EPILOGUE: ‘Ow, stop hitting me’ song.

Ep 34: Unplugged 5/9/19


THEME: Casiotone.

INTRO: ‘Unplugged’ explained/Beavis & Butthead FX.

TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1980.

CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny - Princess Diana reincarnated.

STORY: ‘The Dark Knight Triumphant in Classic Cooney Farce’.

THEME: Casiotone.

Ep 35: Clodpoles 19/9/19


SPONSOR: Tony sucked in and out of Vortex during read.

THEME: Vibes.

INTRO: Matt only has three FX again, including overhead plane.

CALLER: Dion – Incarcerated in Wollongong.

BREAK: The ‘Trump pretends to have read the bible’ clip

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Waleed Aly making a bomb/Sexyland.

SPONSOR: Multiple Allegiance labels.

CALLER: Ian Teale – Saw Tony buying pens/Falls out of ceiling.

BREAK: Ash Williams trapped in the body of Roland Mulberry.

CALLER: Shane Restraining Order – What’s happened to iTunes?

SONG: Tom Waits – ‘Destination Sizzletown’.

THEME: Vibes.

EPILOGUE: The Ash Williams Show with Roland Mulberry.

Ep 36: Unplugged Rides Again 3/10/19


THEME: Glockenspiel.

TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1981.

CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Heard at the movies.

STORY: ‘Irresponsible Journalism’.

THEME: Glockenspiel.

Ep 37: The Tradie’s Mate 17/10/19


SPONSOR: ‘Previously on Harrow’-style read.


INTRO: ‘Sam Pang, Thank You Ma’am’.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Computer Box/Goldfinch flops.

MESSAGE: Barry Football – Another dick pic apology.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Heavy metal one-man bands/The Usual Dagos.

SPONSOR: More Matron talk.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – ‘Greta Bloody Thunberg!’

BREAK: ‘Mopping Up’/Feminist in On the Buses.

INT: Simon Haight – ‘ScoMo, the Tradie’s Mate.’


Ep 38: Unplugged Goes to Monte Carlo 31/10/19


THEME: Steel Drum.

TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1982.

CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – ‘Tits and Schnitz’.

STORY: ‘Optimus Schmoptimus’.

THEME: Steel Drum.

Ep 39: Logic’s Doin’ Wheelies 14/11/19


SPONSOR: Roland Mulberry (containing Ash) does read.

THEME: Live.

INTRO: Show hiatus announced.

CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Fake Telstra email.

CALLER: Ian Teale – Hiding in boot of Tony’s car.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Floats terrible idea for Tony.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Inappropriate Development Apartments.

CALLER: Norrie Rolle - Still confused.

BREAK: On the Buses – final episode.

CALLER: Rodney Pyles – On the Buses movies.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Pill testing/Big Day Out.

CALLER: Shane Old Copy of Mayfair – Daylight Saving conspiracy.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Restraining order hindering reunion with wife.

CALLER: The Hater – Turns tables by eavesdropping on Tony & Matt off-air.

SPONSOR: ‘Sizzle’ code offer to continue thru 2020.

MESSAGES: Willem Dafoe / Simon Haight / William Friedkin /

Bryan Lyons / Desmond Bowie.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Ant-Man a ‘documentary’.

CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Has written new ending for The Defenders.

CALLER: Dick Roundabout – Still no clients on roundabout.

CALLER: Irving Sempleton – Now the CEO of TikTok.

CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Alan Jones on ‘Struggle Street’.

BREAK: Cops York & Sargent arrive with solution to Mulberry case.

MESSAGES: Jason Statham / Trevor Devon / David Lynch /

Peter Meager / HAL 9000.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – ‘Bird of the Year’ competition is dumb.

CALLER: Dion – En route to the Goldie in a Kombi.

CALLER: Conrad – Recalls his first call/Drops his pen.

BREAK: Thank you and good evening.

SONG: ‘When it’s Sizzletown (You Better Be Ready)’

THEME: Live.

EPILOGUE: Berocca finally dissolves/Pete Smith guitar message/Blooper.

Ep 40: Unplugged Goes Bananas 28/11/19


THEME: Doorbell.

TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1983.

CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Statham talk.

STORY: ‘In a Tree’.

THEME: Doorbell.

Ep 41: Coronapanic Special 12/4/20


SKETCH: David Panic 1.

INTRO: Tony isolating, Matt has had trampoline delivered.

CALLER: Shane Fifteen Packets of Toilet Paper – Coronaspiracies.

SKETCH: David Panic 2.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut goes on-line.

SKETCH: David Panic 3.

BREAK: Matt’s SFX barrage.

CALLER: Dion – Staying one step ahead of the Rona/Hazmat suits.

SKETCH: David Panic 4.

THEME: Original.

Ep 42: Objectionable Content 10/6/20


SPONSOR: Read hampered by poor Zoom quality.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Tony in lockdown - tuba lesson next door.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Clementine Ford’s tweet.

BREAK: More tuba/’Objectionable to those under 15’ warning. 

CALLER: Shane Tablets – Chinese Belt and Road theory.

BREAK: Matt fights dog.

SPONSOR: New Allegiance wine, ‘Sweet Betty’.

BREAK: Tony’s parcel forwarded to Border Force.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Savory Centers.

BREAK: Norman Swan cameo/Hoodie plug.

INT: Simon Haight – ‘Scomosas’.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Tuba player still at it.

Ep 43: False Flags 4/2/21

THEME: Vibes.

INTRO: No time for an intro – straight to callers. 

CALLER: Shane Neighbour’s Cat – Capitol riots part of 5G conspiracy.

CALLER: Stoner – Cut off almost immediately.

BREAK: Welcome to the ep. Matt quite busy.

CALLER: Kerryn – Failed to engage cops in anti-mask argument.

CALLER: Stapleton – ‘I hope you rot in jail’ again.

BREAK: Tony in Orange/New sponsor: Factory Espresso.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Phosphate Paradise/Audiobooks/Vaccine.

CALLER: Theo – Thinks it’s a music quiz.

BREAK: 2020 Podcast Awards.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut re-opened/Film Trivia Quiz.

THEME: Vibes.

Ep 44: Mr Popper’s Pangolins 4/3/21


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Last Voyage of the Pong Su still a touchy subject for Matt. 

CALLER: Dion – Quarantining in Dandenong/Mr Popper’s Penguins.

BREAK: Strange Tenants/The Tenant trailer.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Has a new ‘giant outdoor toot’.

BREAK: More Strange Tenants.

SPONSOR: Tony in Orange again/Beans!

CALLER: Wastewater Guy – Stop looking for Covid in Sewerage.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Suspicious of vaccine.

BREAK: Merch talk, with studio audience.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Ex-wife has modified restraining order.

CALLER: @welcometothenannystate – ‘Dictator Dan’ song.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Still more Strange Tenants.

Ep 45: Paging Doctor Blumpkin 22/4/21


PROLOGUE: Offensive content warning.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: No callers. ‘Fuckwit 5000’ is deployed.

CALLER: The Hater – Tiny coffee/Ethical eggs/No cash.

CALLER: Herbert Twentyman – Politician texts sex worker.

BREAK: Bad behaviour on films sets – Crackerjack murder.

CALLERS: 4 x Anonymous Callers – TV/movie set stories.

SPONSOR: Shout-outs to Sizzle Merchants who pledged support.

BREAK: Clip with nanobots theory at anti-vaccine rally.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Goes ‘woke’ when granddaughter is in earshot.

BREAK: Matt’s neighbours on all sides playing instruments.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Reg outtake: ‘Check your privilege’.

Ep 46: Apricot of Nothing 3/6/21


THEME: Epic.

INTRO: No time for an intro – straight to callers.

CALLERS: 3 x Callers who think it’s something called ‘Hazard a Guess’.

INT: Boris Johnson – ‘A belt and braces approach.’

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Can-opening delayed because of his ‘crimes’.

BREAK: Plane overhead. Matt magnifies sound.

CALLER: Mike McCorkindale – Calling from SportFM.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Half-vaccinated/Granddaughter/Bowie’s ‘Low’.

SPONSOR: More sound-effected shout-outs to Sizzle Merchants.

CALLER: Shane ‘Binlocliers’ – Vaccine and lockdown conspiracies.

BREAK: Lockdown entertainment at our YouTube channel.

CALLER: Dion – ‘Fast & Furious’ marathon – joined by Jason Statham.

THEME: Epic.

EPILOGUE: Dion and Jason Staham chat.

Ep 47: Triangles 1/7/2021


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Failed attempt to introduce a 7-second delay.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘Schnitz n Tits’ trouble/NutFlix is back.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Coles ‘Indian Style Triangles’.

CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Has written new ending for WandaVision.

SPONSOR: Further shout-outs to Sizzle Merchants. (‘Nice Crackle’.)

CALLER: ‘Dougal Stevenson’ – Carrie-style bucket prank misjudged.

CALLER: Triangles Guy – Threatened by triangles.

BREAK: New Sizzletown slogan T-Shirts.

INT: William Friedkin – To Live and Die in L.A. chase.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: From Chrissie, Sam & Browny - Browny and Jason Statham.

Ep 48: Mouse Replacement 5/8/2021


PROLOGUE: Norman Swan - Mask advice.
THEME: Original.

INZTRO: ‘Stuart Bison’ confusion.

CALLER: Shane Betamax – ‘Danbot’/Mouse plague/Kiwi currency.

BREAK – Cop at door says ‘Have you seen this man?’

CALLERS: 3 x Callers pranking us with ‘Stuart Bison’ questions.

BREAK: ‘Podfarts’: The Giddy Carousel of Pop.

CALLER: Potato Cakes – wants incentives to get vaccinated.

SPONSOR: More sound effects for Sizzle Merchants.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – ‘Strategic attack’ on the Sugarcube.

BREAK: Bits of Get This at Bandcamp.

INT: Simon Haight – White men being silenced/’ScoMo’ update.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Simon Haight outtake: ‘ScoMo’ ‘fills his pantaloons’.

Ep 49: Benchtop Wonderland 2/9/2021


PROLOGUE: ABCfm – Dion calls in.

THEME: Orchestral.

INTRO: ‘That Darn Cat’.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Benchtop Wonderland/Vaccine hesitancy.

MESSAGE: Barry Football – Racism apology. 

CALLER: Potato Cakes – confused about which is the original Chopper.

SPONSOR: Still more sound effects for Sizzle Merchants.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Intervention pile-up.

BREAK: ‘Podfarts’: Interview with footballer.

INT: Jeff Goldblum – Australians/Sensual dinosaurs.

THEME: Orchestral.

EPILOGUE: ‘That Darn Cat’ located and translated.

Ep 50: Big Parma 7/10/2021

PROLOGUE: Ep 50 Fireworks go off too early.

THEME: Epic.

INTRO: Tony locked out of booth/Incoherent Norrie clip.

CALLER: Norrie Rolle – As confused as in clip.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Unimpressed by ScoMo submarine deal.

CALLER: Shane Fleshlight – ‘Big Parma’ conspiracy theory.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Took part in confusing protest march.

SPONSOR: Dion – Secret Netflix show/Beans talk with Nick Gleeson.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Supporting local businesses during Covid.
BREAK: Shout-outs to listeners with music and effects.

CALLER: Jason Statham congratulates us – joined by The Pikelet Man.

THEME: Epic, then becomes…

MUSIC: Danny Eddy and The Pikelet Men’s ska version of the theme.

EPILOGUE: Shane Fleshlight still on the line.

Ep 51: Quality Assurance 4/11/2021


THEME: Original.

INTRO: Melbourne lockdown over/Tony’s barber.

CALLER: The Hater – Unimpressed by 50th ep/Express Post.

CALLER: Jimmy Nails – Fake vaccine passport scam.

CALLER: The Hater – Calls back in disguise.

BREAK: Apology for accidental message to Bandcamp followers.

CALLER: Radio Piracy DJ – Calling from international waters.

CALLER: Quality Assurance Man – Will his call assure quality?

SPONSOR: More listener pledges, including Tommy G.

CALLER: Fruit n Veg Man – ’Femmos’ at his supermarket.

CALLER: ‘Selwyn Toogood’ – A fair go for small-time drug lab operators.
BREAK: Bootleg 2000 at Bandcamp.

INT: Peter Meager – Commissioning hit pieces/Celebrity fart books.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Giddy Carousel of Pop response/Jimmy Nails blooper.

Ep 52: Reserve My Cancellation 2/12/2021


PROLOGUE: Return to Podworx.

THEME: Live.

INTRO: No Pete Smith – ‘Skirts’ song clip.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Halloween/Thunberg dancing/Quinoa.

CALLER: ABC Viewer – Not happy with women being Wiggles.

CALLER: Ian Teale – Hiding in Tony’s boot again.

CALLER: Dick Roundabout – Still no clients on roundabout.

CALLER: Shane Fake Vaccine Passport – ‘Dandemic’. 

CALLERS: The five callers, all on together, sing ‘Skirts’.

SPONSOR: Sizzle Merchants get sound-effected.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Stare-off with ‘New Cat’/Book deal.

CALLER: David Lynch both on the line and in the studio.

BREAK: Merch talk and ‘Podfarts’ x 2.

CALLER: Dion – Higgins ‘radicalised’/James Bond marathon.

CALLER: Conrad – Now doing ‘Previously’ VOs in New Zealand.

BREAK: Thank yous and sign-off for 2021.

SONG: Lou Reed – ‘5G Feeling’. (music by Davey Lane)

THEME: Live.

EPILOGUE: Pete Smith arrives – ‘Skirts’ with Tony and Matt.

© 2021 pots n pans productions

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